Ah the labels! If we don’t get them from others we slap them on ourselves! We identify by our anxiety, our recovery, our depression, our past, our guilt, our short comings and our failures! When will we embrace our strengths and attributes?
Recently I was challenged to begin a new role in a completely new field amongst younger and quicker colleagues. The environment itself was challenging. It was stuffy with fluorescent lights, close proximity to others, and random chatter & laughing during class, even during quizzes! At times I felt myself shutting down. The influx of stimuli felt like a battle field in my mind. I pivoted on the brink of malfunction, and it took great effort and concentration to allay my anxiety and complete the task. At one point I considered emailing the instructor to explain to her that I had PTSD and that this uncontrolled class environment was too challenging for me. But I waited, and I contemplated, and, in the end I made a different choice.
Rather than choose to focus on my anxiety, my sensitivity to the environment and my PTSD, I choose instead to begin to recite positive affirmations I’d developed thus far in life, and even to add to that list. I began to look at the courage it took to take on the challenge before me and the attributes I brought to the table that I could use to assist and inspire others. When the class became overwhelming I stood and stretched reciting a mantra to steer my thoughts and clear my mind. It wasn’t easy but it got me through, and to my amazement I began to think of myself, not as someone riddled with anxiety or with a dx. of PTSD, but someone who could control my responses and reactions and persevere. I wasn’t successful every time, but it got easier as I continued and I was astonished to learn that there were others in the class feeling similar. As I became acquainted with the women in the class it was clear I wasn’t so different and isolated in my response as I’d felt. I was carrying the label of anxiety and PTSD into that class room with me when it seems all the while, my responses were the norm, the majority. Perhaps it’s necessary to know we have some extreme and intense, and at times, irrational responses, but it’s also vital that we recognize it’s just a thang! It’s not the biggest part of who we are and it shouldn’t be our first go to when identifying ourselves. We are more like others than we are different and focusing on our positives propels us to become our best one little baby step at a time!
Seeds of Hope 