Being a behavioral health nurse has given me a front row seat into the aftermath of trauma. It spills over into every aspect of our lives. Those who grow up in stable environments with the expected challenges of child rearing conflicts cannot fathom the difficulty that ensues a neglected and abused child. I do believe that we can and do heal. Some may think healing means full remission with no sign of disease. (Sorry the nurse in me is showing). I for one, feel healing can also mean becoming our optimum selves!
Maya Angelou is one of my favs. Her quote, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better” has become an essential tool for me. These words of grace have saved me and stayed with me for decades! It took me years to understand that some of my faults and bad behaviors were learned and could be replaced with more positive options.
I berated myself for many years for having written a bad check and obtained a charge. What was I thinking? The reality is, I wasn’t thinking. I was repeating a behavior I had witnessed for many years. My mother had been to jail several times for the same offense. When things were tight she would just write a check. I had sworn I would never be like my mother but in the trenches of raising three children alone and having no support system I reverted to what I had learned.
Beginning to identify those behaviors that are not really of you, but that are acquired behaviors, is a step towards redefining ourselves. We can discover a new approach to cope with our challenges and, until we are 100% successful in living our truth, we can recall Maya’s words and forgive our bad behaviors by giving ourselves a bit of grace.
My daily prayer is, “help me to be the best I can be today”. I pray to God, to the universe, to the spirits that walk with me. My faith is one of universal connection and I believe in an omniscient force that embraces the characteristics of love, peace, grace and hope. When I am embarking to replenish my own spirit with these traits, that is when I feel most connected and balanced in life. We are human and our journey is one of growth. Forgiving our short comings and striving to be our best each day will work to in-tune us to our highest selves.
Can you offer yourself a bit of grace today? What behaviors are learned and not truly from your spirit? Remember, we are all works in progress and growth and change take time, and grace.
Seeds of Hope 